


Why Vala Carries A Curling Iron, or Five Things Vala Takes With Her Through The Gate

by kuonji



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Humor, Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-22 07:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7426471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuonji/pseuds/kuonji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Vala had read about the fellow who'd traded a paper clip for a two-story house.</em>  </p><p>Five things Vala never forgets to pack. </p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Vala Carries A Curling Iron, or Five Things Vala Takes With Her Through The Gate

**Author's Note:**

> Orig. Posted 2008.11.30
> 
> Alternative Links:  
> <http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/19270.html>

Vala had read about the fellow who'd traded a paper clip for a two-story house. She had been impressed -- until she'd figured out that what he'd actually gotten for the paper clip had been a silly old pen. Well, anyone could do that!

On her second trip out as an official member of SG-1, Vala had been able to secure a room at the local tavern, dinner for the whole team, and a pair of new boots _just_ her size. All for a curling iron that she had borrowed from Lieutenant Satterfield.

Mitchell had been so impressed that he had requisitioned her another one.

***

Vala was no stranger to picking locks. She just didn't expect to meet someone at the SGC with the same... hobby. Especially not someone on SG-1. She and Sam spent a fabulous afternoon comparing different kinds of locking mechanisms, intergalactic and Earth-based, digital and analog, multi-coded and password-activated.

Sam was emphatic when she gave her the set. "They're for use within mission parameters only, okay?"

Vala was touched. She tried to cover her gushing by asking a very pertinent question: "Is annoying Daniel part of mission parameters?"

Sam tried really hard to suppress her smile, Vala could give her that credit. She didn't say no, though.

Vala was happy to take her loopholes where she could.

***

It somehow got around that Vala adored lollipops (possibly because she made it a point to tell everyone). One day in the commissary, Teal'c handed her a big round one, bowed in that funny regal way he had, and left her alone. It was grape-flavored, Vala's second-favorite.

Five minutes later, Vala tore down the hallways and barged into Teal'c's room uninvited. He was wearing one of his sleeveless shirts, so she stopped to admire the view for a moment before yelling, " _You_ gave me a _rotten_ lollipop!" She waved the round candy with the disgusting brown blob inside in Teal'c's face.

He studied it, and she could see the almost-smile on his face. "It is not rotten," he replied.

"It is."

"It is not."

"It is!"

"It is not."

Vala frowned, realizing this was getting her nowhere. "What is it then?"

"It is a Tootsie Pop. I find the candy inside disagreeable as well, but many of the Taur'i enjoy it."

Vala was mystified, but she believed him. She considered, then asked, "Got anymore of these, Muscles?" He did.

She made a point of bringing a handful with her through the gate, to hand out to unsuspecting people who annoyed her.

***

It took a while to convince General Landry to allow her some way to defend herself. She started with a zat, but was soon whining for something with a little more oomph. It wasn't fair, she proclaimed every chance she got, that the civilian got a sidearm, and the other alien got a P-90, while she got a dinky zat'nikitel.

The civilian reminded her that he had been on the team for nine years while she had been on the team for nine days. Vala reminded him that the year he'd been _dead_ didn't count.

The alien took their pudding cups while they were arguing -- which only proved that he was far less trustworthy than everyone thought.

Two weeks later, after the incident with the insurgents and the (other) stolen cargo ship, they saw fit to let Vala sally forth into the dangerous unknown, armed.

Landry scowled warningly at her before he signed the form. But he did sign it.

***

Earth had a holiday called Christmas. Most planets and cultures had some sort of holiday for winter, when everyone was bored and depressed. Vala had celebrated Snowfest as a girl.

Snowfest hadn't involved gifts, though. Which was why Vala was surprised after the familiar feasting (at O'Malley's) and dancing (at Club Arriba) to come home to a package on her pillow. It didn't bear a label, but she kind of thought that the neat but boring wrapping spoke of a single man who worked with fragile objects for a living.

Maybe one with glasses and a cute smile.

The gift was soft and had just the right shaped nose for ostentatious kisses. Vala found out from the vast and wondrous internet that it was a facsimile of a leaf-eating mammal from the continent of Africa, called a giraffe.

She named it Gertrude.

  
END.

**Author's Note:**

> In the commentary to 10x10 The Quest Part 1, we are told that there are outtakes where, in addition to the hairdryer that we see, Vala pulls a curling iron and a stuffed giraffe from her pack.
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:   
>      [20/20](http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/13801.html) (Stargate SG-1), by kuonji   
>      [Combat Boots](http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/14475.html) (Stargate Atlantis), by kuonji  
>      [Trapped](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2586661/1/Trapped) (Gundam Seed), by kuonji  
>      [Come Ride A Train, Choo-Choo Train](http://beanpot.livejournal.com/53590.html) (Stargate SG-1), by beanpot  
>   


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